Don't let anyone bully you, or make you feel less about yourself, because of their beliefs. We are all individuals, and should be allowed to be who we are, free to be ourselves. Regardless of other religious or personal beliefs.
Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every facet of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can boost your self-esteem. Consider these steps, based on cognitive behavioral therapy.
Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking
Your initial thoughts might not be the only way to view a situation — so test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether other explanations for the situation might be plausible.
Be aware that it can be hard to recognize inaccuracies in thinking. Long-held thoughts and beliefs can feel normal and factual, even though many are just opinions or perceptions.
Also pay attention to thought patterns that erode self-esteem:
All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, "If I don't succeed in this task, I'm a total failure."
Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I'm not up to this job."
Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don't count. For example, "I only did well on that test because it was so easy."
Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, "My friend hasn't replied to my email, so I must have done something to make her angry."
Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure."
Negative self-talk. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humor. For example, "I don't deserve anything better."
Now replace negative or inaccurate thoughts with accurate, constructive thoughts. Try these strategies:
Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Instead of thinking your presentation won't go well, try telling yourself things such as, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this situation."
Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes — and mistakes aren't permanent reflections on you as a person. They're isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."
Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you might be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your thoughts can lead to more realistic expectations.
Focus on the positive. Think about the parts of your life that work well. Consider the skills you've used to cope with challenging situations.
Consider what you've learned. If it was a negative experience, what might you do differently the next time to create a more positive outcome?
Relabel upsetting thoughts. You don't need to react negatively to negative thoughts. Instead, think of negative thoughts as signals to try new, healthy patterns. Ask yourself, "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"
Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. For example, "My presentation might not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and remained engaged — which means that I accomplished my goal."
In addition to these suggestions, try to remember on a daily basis that you're worth special care. To that end, be sure to:
Take care of yourself. Follow good health guidelines. Try to exercise at least 30 minutes a day most days of the week. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Limit sweets, junk food and animal fats.
Do things you enjoy. Start by making a list of things you like to do. Try to do something from that list every day.
Spend time with people who make you happy. Don't waste time on people who don't treat you well.
If you suspect you might be dealing with depression, these tips might not be very effective and you should consider contacting a professional. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
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