As I reflect on the mosaic of my life, from the wild antics of my twenties to the unexpected twists of my thirties, I find myself at the intersection of introspection and irony, contemplating the curious dance between sobriety and indulgence.
Contemplations on Life, Addiction, and Mortality
As I sit here, tracing the arcs of memory back to the tumultuous corridors of my twenties, I find myself bemused by the reckless abandon with which I navigated those years.
Barbiturates and alcohol, the twin companions of my youth, seemed to dance in harmony, a siren's call that whispered promises of escape from the burdens of reality. How did I make it this far? It's a question that lingers like a ghost, haunting the edges of my thoughts.
In my thirties, the reckoning came. Rehab became my sanctuary, a place of both healing and revelation. Clean and sober became my mantra, a beacon guiding me through the stormy seas of addiction. For thirty years, I held fast to that promise, weathering the tempests of temptation with a steely resolve.
But now, as the sands of time slip through my weathered fingers and the specter of mortality looms ever closer, I find myself questioning the wisdom of my choices. Why choose sobriety when death waits patiently at the threshold? Why not embrace the warm embrace of intoxication, drowning out the cacophony of doubt with the dulcet tones of inebriation?
It's a paradoxical notion, to seek solace in the very vices that once threatened to consume me. Yet perhaps in the twilight of my existence, there is a certain freedom to be found in relinquishing control, in surrendering to the whims of fate. For in the end, whether sober or intoxicated, we are all but passengers on this journey called life, hurtling towards the unknown horizon with each fleeting breath. And perhaps, just perhaps, there is a certain poetry to be found in raising a glass to greet whatever lies beyond.
"Better to face the reaper with a glass of wine in hand and a joint, than to meet him with sober solemnity and a silent lament. After all, in the grand ballad of life, why not dance with a little liquid courage and a buzz"?
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