Oh, hellfire and damnation, it's hot as Satan's balls,
This goddamn heatwave's busting my chops and all.
Sweating like a whore in church, I swear,
Summer's here, and I’m pissed beyond compare.
The sun's a flaming asshole, cooking me like a roast,
Can't find a shred of shade, not even a ghost.
Air’s thicker than my ex’s skull, can’t bloody breathe,
Feels like I’m stuck in a friggin' oven, jeez.
Fan’s on high, blowing hot as a dragon's fart,
Ice cream melts quicker than my last fresh start.
Grumpy as a bear with a thorn in its butt,
This weather's a bitch, and I'm stuck in this rut.
So cheers to you, you fiery son of a bitch,
Take your damn heatwave and shove it up a ditch.
Old lady’s had enough, I’m mad as a hatter,
I’ll flip you off while I curse and clatter.
Hotter than a devil's backside in July, this weather's got me swearing like a sailor with a stubbed toe. If I could kick it in the teeth, I bloody well would.
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