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Writer's picturePoetry by Belle

Roasting My Ass Off

Oh, hellfire and damnation, it's hot as Satan's balls,

This goddamn heatwave's busting my chops and all.

Sweating like a whore in church, I swear,

Summer's here, and I’m pissed beyond compare.


The sun's a flaming asshole, cooking me like a roast,

Can't find a shred of shade, not even a ghost.

Air’s thicker than my ex’s skull, can’t bloody breathe,

Feels like I’m stuck in a friggin' oven, jeez.


Fan’s on high, blowing hot as a dragon's fart,

Ice cream melts quicker than my last fresh start.

Grumpy as a bear with a thorn in its butt,

This weather's a bitch, and I'm stuck in this rut.


So cheers to you, you fiery son of a bitch,

Take your damn heatwave and shove it up a ditch.

Old lady’s had enough, I’m mad as a hatter,

I’ll flip you off while I curse and clatter.


Hotter than a devil's backside in July, this weather's got me swearing like a sailor with a stubbed toe. If I could kick it in the teeth, I bloody well would.



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