Altering Your Perspective
Be who you want to be. If you really want to make yourself happy, then the best thing you can do is to be who you were meant to be. This means not being the person you think your boyfriend, parents, coworkers, or friends want you to be, but the person who feels the most like you. If you feel like you’re always faking it or putting up a front, then you won’t ever be able to enjoy your life or to truly be happy.
You may not even realize that you’re not being true to the person who you are until you pause and check in with yourself. The next time you step out into the world, ask yourself if you’re really being the person you want to be.
Of course, there are times when you have to act a certain way to conform to socially acceptable behavior; for example, you probably shouldn’t jump up and down on your desk at school or work to be true to who you are. However, in general, you should seize as many opportunities as you can to be yourself.
Acknowledge that you choose your own perspectives.
Think positively. Though sometimes you may think that it’s impossible to think positively, being positive is something you can actively pursue, no matter your circumstances. If you want to be able to think positively, all you have to do is to focus on the things you’re grateful for and excited about, and learn not to dwell on the negative stuff. If you focus on talking and thinking about the good things in your life, then you’ll be more likely to feel optimistic.
If you catch yourself making a negative comment, try to counter it with two or three positive ones.
Even just making an effort to smile will not only make the people around you feel happier, but it will make you happier.
Though complaining can help make you feel better occasionally, if you make a habit of it, then you’ll naturally be more likely to feel pessimistic.
Live in the present. One way to make yourself happy is to focus on the world right in front of you instead of worrying about the past or the future. Though it’s not always easy to forget past mistakes or to stop being anxious about the future, the more you make a habit of focusing on the present moment, the more likely you’ll be to make yourself happy. You can have a set time each day for worrying about the future or dreading the past, but you should push those thoughts aside if you want to enjoy your daily interactions.
If you have trouble living in the present, try yoga or meditation. These daily activities can help you feel centered.
Think about it: so something frustrating happened at work, and now it’s keeping you from enjoying your time at home with your family. Why not compartmentalize instead of letting one event ruin all of the events after it?
Plus, if you focus more on the present, then you’ll be more attuned to the work you’re doing and will be better at listening to the people in your life.
Be grateful for what you do have. Another way to make yourself happy is to make gratitude a priority. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down all of the things you’re grateful for; tell yourself you won’t stop writing until you’ve filled a page. Take the time to read these items aloud, and to be truly thankful for all of the joy and happiness in your life; you can be grateful for something as important as your health as well as something more simple, such as the delicious coffee at your favorite cafe down the street.
Make a habit of cultivating gratitude. If something good happens to you, make a note of how grateful you are for it; if you’re on the lookout for things you should be grateful for, you’ll find that you have much more to be happy about than you thought.
Take the time to thank people for Another way to make yourself happy is to make gratitude a priority. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down all of the things you’re grateful for; tell yourself you won’t stop writing until you’ve filled a page. Take the time to read these items aloud, and to be truly thankful for all of the joy and happiness in your life; you can be grateful for something as important as your health as well as something more simple, such as the delicious coffee at your favorite café down the street.
Take a step back from your situation. Another way to make yourself happy is to get some perspective. Take a step back and look at your situation from the outside; sure, you may be having some bumps in your relationship or you may be putting in too many hours at work recently, but on the whole, you have a roof over your head, some love and joy in your life, and many other things to be grateful for. It’s easy to feel miserable when just one or two things in your life are going wrong, but if you want to make a habit of happiness, then you have to practice looking at the big picture
This may be the last thing you want to hear when you feel truly miserable, but it’s important to think about how, from the outside, your life may look pretty rosy, even if you don’t feel that way.
Even the fact that you have access to the internet and can find help here is a sign that your situation isn’t as dire as you may think.
Get more comfortable about being selfish. One of the reasons you may feel like you’re unable to make yourself happy is because you’re always putting other people before yourself. Now, this doesn’t mean you should kick everyone else to the curb and only look out for #1, but it does mean that you should spend more time thinking about your own goals, desires, and needs. If you routinely put your friends, significant others, and family members above yourself, then you should find a way to compromise and make yourself happier.
If you feel like you’re in a relationship where you’re sacrificing everything for the other person, then have a conversation about it. You can’t keep this up forever if you want to be happy.
Learn to speak up for yourself. If your friend has picked the movie you’re going to watch together the last five times, it’s your turn to make a call. If you start small with asserting what you want, you’ll soon be able to make bigger decisions.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. One way to change your perspective for the better is to spend more time with people who make you feel like a great person who is capable of great things. If you spend all of your time around people who put you down or make you feel insecure and like you can’t do anything on your own, then it’s unlikely that you’ll be making yourself happy any time soon.
Take stock. Look around you and see which people really make you feel good and which make you feel terrible about yourself. If you find that you spend the majority of your time around people who make you feel inadequate, then it’s time to cut those ties.
It’s nearly impossible to be happy if everyone around you is making you feel worthless. Though it may hurt to cut ties with people who have been in your life for a while, you have to get in the business of looking out for yourself.